My Poem ‘The Matador’

I have always wondered
what goes through a Matador’s mind
when he is standing in a bull-ring
and a bull is running towards him
completely intoxicated,
incensed, and blood-blind…
they can’t move, they can’t run…
they have countless people
sitting in a crowd all-around and above,
and every second their heart is beating
so fast that they feel like
they are standing in the centre
of a mist of blood –
who would not be scared?
how could anyone in their right mind
not feel fear when a huge animal
with big horns is running at full-speed
directly at you?
How could anyone not scream or swear?
How could anyone, why would anyone,
choose to do what they do
knowing that one day there
may come a day when the bull
might decide your fate for you?

It is all about respect…
it is all about understanding…
it is all about being your gods-honest best…
it is all about acting without thinking…
it is all about giving yourself
over to your instincts…
it is all about participating in a dance…
it is all about misdirecting, entertaining,
facing something, and being a part of something
that feels almost mythic…
it is all about going into a trance
and seeing a million things happening
all-at-once from a single glance…
and miraculously the matador moves,
the matador survives,
the matador is not pierced by the bulls horns,
nor trampled on by the bulls heavy hoofs…
the matador lives to fight another day,
while the bull awakes as if it has just
been awaken by the new days rays of sunlight.

The matador was born to do what he does…
the matador does what he does
to feed the hunger deep inside him…
this matador was definitely born
under the constellation of Taurus…
the matador does not hate the bull in any way –
he knows that he must be
who he was always meant to be,
and fulfill his destiny…
he knows that he must roll the dice
and use his ‘Capote de paseo’ cape
so as to play and win.

The matador does not do what he does
for fame, for fortune, or for applause –
the matador does what he does
because the bull is his life
and his life is the bull…
he does what he does,
he dresses himself in his suit of light
because to him he is acting out god’s will…
he does what he does because he is The Matador.

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My Poem ‘Cogito ergo sum’

When I wake up every morning,
I know that I am poet,
and I want to be a writer;
when I see something,
I am inspired by an idea,
I become, I feel, and I connect,
with what fills and stimulates
my mind and my consciousness;
I take what has been inspired into being
and I run with it all the way
to the end of my imagination;
I find a way to connect the dots
in an imaginative way,
and express what I see
with undivided focus.

I can look at the world
and see any reality that I can imagine;
I can hear a song
and dream of a place, while still awake;
I can see something,
and then get this rush of excitement
deep inside me, that overflows from me,
that feels like I am
about to take a leap from a mountain;
I can feel things
that no one in the world,
no matter how good an actor they were,
could ever fake.

If I were not a writer,
I do not know who I would be;
if I did not write poetry,
I would not be me;
if I were not inspired
and excited about the world
as much as I am,
I think I would be missing a piece of my soul;
if I did not give myself fully
and wholeheartedly to what was right in front of me,
and what made me feel free,
then I would never know or remember
the feeling of the sun on my skin,
and every rainy day
would always be one that was cold.

The first place to start from,
and the first person to know,
is always the place,
and is always the person,
that you know better than anywhere, or anyone,
and you can always rely on the first instinct
and the first thought that comes to your mind;
there is no place you can go
and not see the person in the mirror,
from whom you can never hide;
if you want to know who to be,
if you want to know what to do,
if you want to have faith in something, or someone,
but you just can’t decide what to believe, or who –
close your eyes, know yourself,
and recite to yourself
one of my favourite, and one of the most profound,
latin phrases you could ever know the meaning of:
cogito ergo sum.