I used to think I knew everything...
I used to think I was
going to do everything...
I used to think I would
fall in love with someone
and spend the rest of my life with them...
I used to think I would
learn my lesson
and never again return
to that place that caged me
for so long like a prison -
but, as it turns out,
of course, I was wrong,
because here I am again
shackled to my memories of the past
and tormented by
what was never meant to be...
it's my own fault,
I was the one who opened the door
that said "DO NOT ENTER" on it -
but I just couldn't help myself
from wondering if who
and what I thought I had locked away
was still waiting to be found
on the other side.
I should have known better...
I should have stopped myself
from reawakening the power
of what I have struggled to put behind me...
I should have been stronger...
I should have talked myself
out of being who I am -
but, once again, I was weak.
Once again, everything feels complicated -
where before, not that long ago,
everything was finally
beginning to feel simple...
once again, I am a storm
of thoughts and emotions -
but not that long ago
I swore that I felt as if
I were truly at a place of peace...
once again, I have fallen hard
and I do not know how long
it will take me to rise
even so much as a little...
once again, I have been triggered
into a state of intoxication
because I dared to venture
to where I have been before
and from which I still wear the scars -
I just hope that I will find a way
to not drown under the dark waves
of the sea of unfulfilled dreams.
Author: Mark Hastings
The Pathfinder: Walking On Air
The Pathfinder: Repetition
My Poem “Let Your Voice Be Heard”
I like to think, I like to believe,
I like to tell everybody who I meet,
that each of us are born
with a particular gift,
that we are all born with a voice -
even if we do not feel as if we are...
I like to think, I like to believe,
in fact I know, that sometimes
there is a particular place
and there is a particular time
where and when whatever gift of ours
that is the most prominent
and the one that matters the most to us
is meant to be expressed -
and at a time of decision and change,
there is no better opportunity
for everybody to express what they think,
what they want, to ask questions and get answers,
to make their mark however they can.
Every day, those of us who are lucky
to have access to knowledge
and broadcasts from all around the world
are given the right to see something,
to hear something, to read something,
to have an opinion on something,
and are able to debate what we think
about something with someone else;
however, not every citizen of every country
has the ability, nor the means, to perhaps
go against the status quo
and share their particular experience
and point of view on something
based on what they have lived through.
No one is ever going to agree
with how the place that they call home
has seemingly, slowly but surely,
changed into something and somewhere different
and yet recognisable from how it used to be -
but most people always wish that the identity
of somewhere, something, or someone,
would stay the same way forever;
however, nothing, nowhere,
no one exists in a vacuum,
because everything and everyone
are meant to evolve into something else -
in the same way that a moth or a butterfly has to -
by design and over time.
Change is a symptom of a universal wave
of cause and effect that has not stopped
since the first almighty flash of light
set off the starting pistol of creation
with the biggest bang anyone has ever known,
and there is no sign of things regressing,
nor reversing, anytime soon -
so, with that in mind,
whenever you find yourself somewhere
and you are asked to say something
that will influence the shape
and the sound of the world to come,
do not turn down the moment
and the instance you are given
to speak your mind, to vote,
and let your voice be heard.
The Pathfinder: Brum
The Pathfinder: The Great Communicator
My Poem “Muses of Music”
Music has always been
an important part of my life...
Music has always meant more to me
than I could put into words...
Music has always been
what has created a connection
between me and what I have
always felt can be sensed
whenever I have looked up
at the sky at twilight...
Music has always opened
doorways of imagination
and inspiration that have led me
to visit a multitude of incredible worlds.
Music was, most likely, my first love,
because every time I heard
any kind of music -
from the vinyl records
of The Beatles and Mike Oldfield
that my parents used to play
from our home stereo,
to watching 'Top of the Pops' on TV,
to the Chart Shows that I used to
listen to every week on the radio -
I was absolutely spellbound by what I heard
and by the not so subtle magic.
When I first began expressing
my thoughts, my feelings,
my emotions, my memories,
and my experiences,
in the form of the poetry
that I was inspired to write,
as well as the love that I believed
I was feeling at the time,
I always sought out songs
and melodies that always
gave me the jump start of creativity
that I needed to create
a piece of art of my own.
Whenever I have found myself
going through a period in my life
when I have felt as if I were alone
in how I was feeling,
after listening to the words
of a song that has a power
and a gravity to it
that has a meaning,
a message, and a story to it
that is not always apparent,
I have always felt the wave energy
and understanding that has always reminded me
that there are always others
who have been through
what we have been through,
or what we are going through,
and that we can all there for one another -
even if we live vastly different lives,
and perhaps in different eras and time zones.
Even as I write this,
I am listening to a varied playlist
of some of my favourite songs -
some fast, some slow,
some acoustic, some electronic,
some old, some relatively new -
because I have found that
listening to a great song
while I am writing is like using
the key to a gateway
to the extra dimensions of possibilities
that play out and echo all around us,
and I am free to let my mind drift
and weave my own literary
tapestry of poetic fabric...
every day, I return to who I know,
what I know, where I know,
and to whom and to what
I have repeatedly listened to -
my favourite artists -
who, to me, will always be
the spark of hope, optimism,
and inspiration that I love -
in other words:
my muses of music.
The Pathfinder: Home Movies
My Poem “Vampires”
They say that everyone has a "type"
when it comes to
who they are attracted to
and who they are drawn to...
most of the time we have no control
over who we fall in love with...
I have loved and I have been driven
to do things and to go to places
because what I felt for someone
somehow compelled me -
and now, in retrospect,
as I analyze who I sacrificed
so much for over the years,
and who ultimately threw
everything I did for them
away as if it were nothing,
I realize that for so long
I have found myself in relationships
with those who I would
have to describe as "Vampires":
those who tried to take from me
what fundameantally makes me who I am,
because they were users
who only wanted to take
without giving anything in return...
I was mesmerized by the hypnotic
gaze of those who could so easily
have bled me dry without
shedding a single tear from their eyes...
I was lead to believe that
the love I felt was reciprocated
because who I loved gave
what I believe would be considered
an award-winning performance -
because they played their part to perfection
and completely fooled me
into thinking that I was worth
something to them...
I believed every word I was told -
especially when the word "love"
was added into the mix...
I wanted to be with those
who I loved so badly
that I knowingly found myself
unable to stop myself from being tricked...
I have always had a vivid imagination,
but even I could never have imagined
all the ways that
I would be lied to,
nor what certain people
would be capable of saying and doing...
sometimes I do wish that
I would have seen the obvious signs
that told me from the outset
that who I fell for were not
as beautiful on the inside
as they appeared to be on the outside -
but, even if I had, I probably
would have overlooked
what I saw anyway,
because I was unable to think
about anything other than
being with those who made
my heart and the blood in my veins
burn as if they were on fire...
maybe, one day, I will break the curse
I have been under
whenever I have looked for a lover;
but, right now, I am in no rush
to jump with both feet
into anything resembling
the relationships that I have had
with too many smiling liars -
who I will always think of,
and refer to, as "Vampires".
My Poem “Trancendence”
The sun has gifted me
moments to love all my life -
from childhood memories
of playing in my garden with my sister,
to being taken to Disneyland Florida,
to riding my bike around my home village
over and over again,
to kisses with exes,
to sitting outside while enjoying
the sunshine as I drink
something to quench my thirst;
however there isn't a day that goes by
when I am not reminded that
all the time that we are gifted
is precious and fleeting,
and it is only when we look back
on Summer's gone by
that we start to realize
the world is constantly trying
to teach us something important:
none of us stay as we are,
because who we were
and those who we used to know
have become a part of
the history of our story
and they were never meant to be
anything other than what they became.
I can still recall memories
of people and places,
and I can still remember
the lasting impressions
that I felt at certain times -
but because I don't have
the same relationships
that I used to have with people,
and because I have learned
more life lessons than I can count
from all the errors
that I have made over the years,
I now feel a certain detachment
as I slowly drift further and further
away from where I came from,
who I used to be,
and who I used to believe I knew.
It occurs to me that I did not
think about the end of anything
when I was younger,
because I honestly believed
that things would
stay the same way forever -
and I can only blame myself
for having that childish mentality;
however, while growing up,
I was truly blessed by a loving family,
I was given unforgettable experiences,
I grew up at a time
when we didn't have as much
as children have now
but somehow I feel as if we had more,
and I slowly but surely
felt the awakening
of the most important,
precious, extraordinary, and phenomenal
surge of energy, light, and inspiration -
something that sometimes feels
like a magical and miraculous power
that I have always been fated to wield.
There are times when I do wonder
what would have happened if
fate had had other plans for me;
however, when I am sitting
and enjoying the sunshine
with my family and with those who know me and still love me,
it does not take me long
to snap back to the present
and realize what a gift time
with those whom you
share an unbreakable connection with
transcends everything.
markthepoet.me 