My Poem “Regeneration”

Who knew that someone could
change so much throughout their life?
Who knew that someone could
go through so much and over time
find the energy that they need
to make it to the other side?
Who knew that there would be no mystery
greater than we are to ourselves?
Who knew that there could be no
question to be answered as illusive
as the one personified in
who we see every day in the mirror,
who never ceases to show us
that we all have layers and depths
that are just waiting to show themselves.

Everything within us, everything around us,
everyone we have known, everyone we will ever meet,
changes and reinvents itself,
over and over again –
at the same time that everything and everyone
follows a pattern of behaviour,
as well as a biological necessity,
to maintain something and someone’s
intended purpose in life…
everything within everyone
began in one state and then over time
adapted to their surroundings and their environment
and became a more diverse and varied
assembly of complexity
and meant to connect to the world
in ways that generation after generation
has had varying periods of awareness of and attention to –
because in times gone by humanity’s
connection with the world and each other
seemed to be more refined,
because our relationship with the natural world
used to be considered just as important to growth
and rejuvenation as starlight.

Every atom of everything and everyone –
from me to you, from every tree to every star –
can all trace their shared lineage
to a momentous event that happened
billions of years ago;
but had the conditions at the beginning of time and space
been ever so slightly different than they were
then everything and everyone
would have turned out differently –
and in other universes and realities
the consequences of what might have been
play out in a myriad of ways,
and the thought that change and choice has been,
and always will, be a factor in determining where
one set of variables will lead to
has always filled me with fascination…
every time each of us think that we
know ourselves and each other
to the nth degree and nothing about us,
nor anyone else, could ever surprise us again,
something, or someone, always reminds us to
never stop questioning our own existence
and the reason why each of us are alive
and able to do what we can do –
because every form of life in this universe,
or any universe, has repeatedly shown
that the longer you live the greater the chance
there is that you will repeatedly go through
a period of self-reflection and self-awareness
that will lead to profound instances
of change and regeneration.

My Poem ‘The Phoenix’

It was inevitable that it would happen,
it always happens;
it was always going to end and begin again this way;
it was inevitable that I would be burned alive
and come back to life,
because that is the pattern;
it will always be me dying to save myself,
and then rising again from the flames
with the same face, the same name,
the same heart, the same soul,
until it really is my Earth-bound last and final day.

Every time I come back from the dead
I lose nearly everything that I had,
but I do retain every detail of my past lives’ memories;
every time my world crumbles and turns to ash,
I return to the place I know,
the people I love, and the thing that is as a part of me
as I am of it- and that is my notebook and my poetry.

You always think that things will go on forever, until they end;
you always think that people will stay with you, until they leave;
you always think that you will always be someone’s hope,
inspiration, life, love, and best friend;
you always think that you know and have seen everything,
until you learn and you see something that you cannot believe.

My world imploded, and then exploded;
my identity was stripped from me and thrown away;
my life had to crash and then be rebooted;
my past, my present, my future, my horizons,
were all sent into flux, and blown away on the wind,
to be replaced by a blank page, an unknown,
and a feeling of loss and uncertainty.

Where once there was something rich, deep, bright, and hopeful,
there is now nothing to be found;
where once there was fate, destiny, reason,
the answer to everything in the entire universe,
there is now a hole in the shape of something wonderful,
special, and profound.

Night has become day,
day has become night;
everything felt simple,
even when it was vastly complicated in every way-
as long as I kept myself, in part, hidden in the dark
I would always end up turning my face away from the light.

Things ended because I was stupid;
I was ripped apart and burned,
because what happened was too far gone for anyone to fix;
I was everything that I have always hated,
but now I have died, I have been reincarnated,
I have been reconstituted, I have been tested,
I have been regenerated, I have risen again from my own flames,
and I am starting again and fighting my instincts
of continually being the human embodiment
of the mythological bird known as “The Phoenix”.