inspiration
The Pathfinder: Flow State
The Pathfinder: From One to Another
The Pathfinder: Someone To Talk To
The Pathfinder: Pilgrimage
The Pathfinder: What Comes Naturally
My Poem “The Lock of Our Lost Love”
A long time ago,
I put a padlock with our names on it
onto a bridge next to countless others,
and after I attached our lock -
the lock that, to me, at the time,
signified our unending love for one another -
I threw the key to our lock
into the water of the river below;
and I never foresaw that I would
ever regret doing what I did -
however, now, I have to say, I do,
because what we once had is no more,
and whenever I think of that lock
it makes me feel sad,
because our love, as it turns out,
was a lie from beginning to end -
because we were once lovers,
but now we are not even friends.
I wish I could find that lock -
the one that I put on that bridge
all those years ago -
and break it, just as my heart was broken,
because it now symbolises
how foolish I was to have allowed
myself to fall for you
and to believe your lies...
I wish I still remembered what
the key to that lock looked like -
because, maybe if I did, I would
choose to dive to the bottom
of that river and retrieve it
so that I could use it
to unlock that which now feels meaningless;
however, there are most likely
many other keys to be found
in the water underneath the bridge -
so my chances of finding the right key
for the right lock are slim, at best,
but I think it would be worth a shot.
Maybe I should just try
and forget about what once was - us -
and that which once meant so much;
but the truth is that moving on
is harder than it sounds,
especially when you still have
a head full of memories
and shared experiences,
and somewhere in the world
there still remains things
that were placed somewhere in particular
with the intention that they stay
where they are forever,
even though you wish you could
remove them and throw them away -
things like carved initials in an oak tree,
graffiti on a wall,
dedications within books,
or names written upon a lock
that will continue to be
a source of pain whenever
you think of them, or see them,
because they make you remember
what you once had with someone
and that one day when
all that used to mean everything
suddenly came to a stop
and then became lost.
The Pathfinder: Let There Be Poetry
My Poem “I Am Not A Number”
Life is not always easy,
life is not always peaceful,
life is not always what
you want it to be -
because the truth, for so many,
is that life is incredibly,
sometimes unbarely,
hard, in every respect:
so many people live in places,
and around people,
that have seemingly given up
on trying to restore how a place once was
and return it to a state of contentment
that was once felt.
Every day, people wake up
and they ask themselves
how they ended up where they awoke:
on the streets, or in a home
without some of the things
that some people take for granted,
perhaps without their family,
without hope, without love,
and for so long that they have forgotten
the last time they saw anything
resembling "normality" -
because the state of hell
that they believe they live in
day in and day out
has become all that they know.
We all know how to laugh,
we all know how to cry -
but sometimes when we
lose so much, so soon,
we do not immediately know
how to feel, nor what to think,
and we need to take some time
to rediscover who we are.
We all know what it is like
to feel as if we are happier
than we have ever been in our life -
and then "BOOM!" the world we knew
is destroyed by an explosion of reality,
and after which nothing and no one
can return, nor remember clearly,
to a time before whatever happened happened.
We all spend a lot of our time
trying to convince ourselves
that something will endure forever -
and then we all have to some day
face the truth that we never want to acknowledge:
that life can sometimes feel
as if it is a series of battles
being fought in some kind
of never-ending war.
Life is complicated...
life is not always
what we make of it...
life is always surprising us...
life is a gift, as are people;
however, sometimes
some people use others
for their own gain
and over time they start to see people
as if they are figures on a chart,
and not human beings
with emotions and feelings...
life is what it is,
individuals are who they are -
and no matter what anyone, or anything,
wants to make you believe,
nobody should be put others
through things because they can,
nor because someone is more "resilient",
because people are not machines
and do not deserve to be treated like they are,
because we are all flesh and blood,
and not variables in someone else's formula;
I am not a prisoner,
I am not a number -
and neither does anyone have to be
if they don't want to be.
Mark Hastings 