Whenever I see a photograph
of myself from childhood,
or whenever I hear my own voice
from decades past,
I am always reminded of how young I was,
I am always reminded of how untainted I was,
I am always reminded of how naive I was,
and I am always reminded of how much
I have changed, and also how much
I haven’t changed and will never change…
whenever I look back upon my own memories
I am always having to remind myself
that things might not have happened
exactly as I remember them happening -
because, no matter how good we think our memory is,
each of our memories and recollections
are always subject to our emotions -
and the farther away we are from
something that happened
the more that our perception of reality
becomes distorted and rewritten
with the version of our own internal narrative…
whenever I read something that I wrote
from years ago, when I was younger
and more inclined to believe everything
and take everybody on face value,
I look back on recent events
when my view on something or someone
was challenged and subsequently changed as a result -
and that is when I realise how important
is it to stay in the moment,
but not forget why things are
the way that they are
and why things were never meant to be
different than how they turned out…
whenever I read something I wrote,
whenever my own words and my own actions
return to me in some way,
I remember the fact that the past
is constantly talking to the present,
just as the present talks to
and perhaps even influences the past
in more ways than we realise,
and I find myself not regretting anything that I have done -
because we are all creating and recreating
our own version of our life
which only we have control over…
whenever I hear others talk about me
in the third person,
I always wonder how and why others
see me as they do and what it is about me
that has stayed with them
and reminds them of me -
but then of course there are the things
and there are the people whom I have known
who might not have as glowing of an opinion
of me as they used to;
however, I have learned that it doesn’t matter
what someone who is no longer in your life
thinks about you,
because it is those people
who take the time to reach out to you
and who want nothing but the best for you
who give you what you need, when you need it;
and when it all comes down to it,
everything and everyone all sound different,
and everything and everyone look different,
whenever they are heard as an echo
or whenever they are seen in reflection.
Mental health
My Poem “I Am Done”
I am done waiting
for things, for experiences,
for people, for answers…
I am done wasting my time
on what doesn’t matter,
and on those who can’t even lift a finger
to get in touch with me and others
for reasons that may never be made clear…
I am done worrying
about what never was
and what was never supposed to be…
I am done autocorrecting myself
for those who don’t seem to have learned
how to filter what they say
before they say it…
I am done giving people
the benefit of the doubt
to those who show by their actions and their inaction
what and who they really care about…
I am done with those people
who are like a weight around my neck,
who cannot accept that I don’t have a Time Machine
to go back and change the past…
I am done wondering
if and when I will get my heart’s desire,
because I believe that I have done too much,
I have seen too much, I have heard too much,
I have learned and I now know too much
to forget that the only way to find true happiness
is to live your life with a spirit of self-worth
and respect for yourself and for your loved ones,
because memories can only be made and shared
by those who show up when there is
a mutual need for the presence of one another…
I am done with the play of those who
just want to suck the life, the energy, the joy,
and the hope out of others
because they claim they deserve better
than what they have been given in life…
I am done with giving up -
and I will not be dragged down
into another level of the depths of darkness
or into another fight
by those who will never understand
that nothing changes
just because you choose to turn out the light…
I am sure that I am not the only one
who looks around the world and sees people
trying to get away with doing
whatever they want to do
without thinking about the repercussions,
and that is why I will never stop rebelling against
what I am told to believe -
and I do not apologise for saying
to those who may wish
to manipulate me in any way in the future:
I am done.
My Poem “Every Time is Different”
Sometimes the bad
can overshadow the good…
sometimes the happiest of times
can be forgotten about
because the darkness of hate
and disappointment can
make them sink beneath
the ocean of our memories
so deep that we almost feel
as if they never happened,
and were just a dream…
sometimes we focus too much on
who someone is to us in the present
that we have a hard time remembering
who someone was before -
when times were better -
because the pain of being hurt by someone
can transform the way that we see them;
heroes can become villains;
lovers can become users;
angels can become demons -
and nothing and no one can restore
the halo that once seemingly shone above
the head that now seemingly has horns…
sometimes a song that you once loved,
and used to use to share your affection for
with someone who you used to love,
you can come to hate -
because the way that a particular song
used to make you feel has changed in your mind
and in the way you feel about yourself and the world,
and you will try to make sure you never hear that song again;
but whenever you try to avoid
and forget something, or someone -
like a particular song, or a particular person -
undoubtedly that something, or that someone,
will find you and remind you that they
are still a part of you, and they always will be…
sometimes we all have to accept the fact,
and the reality, that we have no control
over what the universe will bring into our lives
and occasionally influence us with their spirit,
because that is the relationship that each of us have
with everything and everyone else
in existence, everywhere -
from the beginning to the end;
because no matter how many times
you do something, listen to something,
see someone, or hear a particular voice -
even if it is for the thousandth time -
each and every time it is always different.
My Poem “Just Their Look”
No matter what anyone says,
no matter how something appears,
how someone presents themselves
matters more than people might want to admit…
even when we are young,
we all have a certain image within our mind
of how we see ourselves
and how we may want others to see us…
some people dress in a certain way
because they want to emulate the appearance
and the fashion of someone whom they might revere and idolise…
we all have our favourite clothes
that, when we wear them, give us
a feeling of comfort, confidence,
and some people take a great deal of time
and pride in selecting what they are going to wear…
some people equate a particular outfit
to a suit of armour that a medieval knight
might have worn to protect themselves -
and although the attire that modern people,
as well as soldiers, wear today
may not be as encompassing,
nor as metallic, from head to toe,
the “armour” of a suit and tie,
or the colours and badges of a uniform,
can give someone that much needed
faith in their own abilities to be able
to do what they must…
what someone wears can affect
how someone acts…
what someone wears can affect
how someone speaks
and how someone is heard…
what someone wears can affect
the perception of people;
however, appearances can be,
and generally are, deceptive,
and should be treated as only
as the surface level of something,
as well as someone -
because everything and everyone
is more than how they portray themselves to be,
and most people are more than how they appear to others,
and for some people that is
how they get through life,
that is how they protect themselves
from all that is going on around them,
and that is how they have learned
to become a part of the society
that they find themselves within…
sometimes some people choose things deliberately,
and sometimes some people choose things
without knowing why they feel drawn to them -
because some things feel obligatory,
while some things just feel natural;
and what someone wears can be a good indicator
of how someone feels about themselves,
or how they want other people to feel about them,
and then there are those who
just wear what works best for them,
and when they see themselves in a mirror
they say to themselves that no matter
where they are and who they are with
how they want to be seen is,
for better or for worse, just their look.
My Poem “Fridge Magnets”
Each of us are sentimental
for the way things were,
for the places we have visited,
for the people we have met,
as we have lived our lives
and as we have experienced
one memorable moment after another,
and because we all want to remember
as much as we can about what we have seen,
where we have been, and whom we have known,
each of us always find a way to retain
a fragment of our journey through our lives
in the form of mementoes that we return home with
and place in places of prominence
where we can see them
and whenever we want to be reminded
of who we were, where we were, how we felt,
and with whom we shared our time with.
We are all sentimental about our relationships -
and some people are sometimes
seemingly so desperate to show others
just how lucky they are to have what they have,
and just how fortunate they are to be able
to go where, and to do what, they are able to -
because they seem to have this need
to share everything with everyone
and not leave anything for themselves…
each of us are sometimes guilty
of being so self-indulgent that we cannot see
that we may be causing more harm than good
by being so open about things
that need not be said, nor shown,
because not everyone has the same means
to be able to make their dreams a reality.
In this day and age of social media platforms,
and in this time of social pressure
to have what others have,
each of us sometimes feel forced
to have an opinion on something, or someone,
and then voice that opinion for all the world
to see, and to read, just because we can -
however without fear of any real world repercussions…
I sometimes find it hard to believe that I,
and many others like me,
used to live in world that was so different
and so much more simpler not that long ago -
at least, in retrospect, that is how it feels -
because I still remember a time
before the interconnected system
that we are all used to and rely on these days:
a time of telephones with wires which you had
to answer to know who was calling;
a time of letters and postcards
that had to be handwritten and sent with a stamp;
before that advent of electronic mail,
texts, and direct messages…
like I said before, each of us are incredibly sentimental -
at least I am and my generation is,
as well as the generation before;
however, I wonder whether the people of the future
will be as sentimental about things, about places,
about experiences, about people as I am -
because we have already seen synthetic life
and artificial intelligence become
more and more common and hidden plain sight,
and there is no knowing what the world of tomorrow
will look like, nor if people will one day
give up on face to face interactions
and seeing the truth and the beauty of nature
in real life, and now just on a screen.
Personally, I hope that the more that some things will change
the more that some things will always remain the same -
because though some things and some people
must evolve if they are to survive,
our world is what it is and what it has always been
because its population has taken great pains
to not forget who built what we have
and who is responsible for what we have accomplished,
what we have created, and what we can achieve
if we remember that we all have
the capacity to work together
and to share what we have with one another -
and one thing I hope never changes
is the reason why people love
buying things that they don’t need
but which they convince themselves
will always mean something profound to them:
the same reason why we cherish childhood drawings;
the same reason why we frame diplomas
and awards and hang them from our walls;
the same reason why some people keep
objects that only have a certain amount
of value and significance to us
because they remind us of something,
somewhere, or perhaps someone;
and the reason why we continue to take photographs
and attempt to capture moments in time;
and the reason why we buy symbols
in the form of fridge magnets
so that we can be reminded
of that which will continue
to be replayed within our mind,
as if we could return to where we were
when we bought them
just by looking at them and remembering.
My Poem “Work Together”
Like most people in this life,
at many points throughout my life,
I have had to choose between
one direction and another…
like most people in this world,
there have been several moments,
as an adult and still while I was a child,
when I have had to take my options into account,
and make a decision about,
what path my future could look like…
like most people living on this planet -
this spinning sphere of change,
orbiting around the sun at 67,000 miles per hour -
while growing up my imagination was filled with
sights and sounds of infinite and amazing possibilities
which I might want to explore further;
however, as reality becomes more complex,
and as we are all faced with the dilemma
of having to deal with making a living,
as well as finding a source of happiness
that we can return to time and again
to sustain us through the years of struggle,
each of us has to overcome the fact
that sometimes none of us has total control
over everything that happens,
nor how fast things happen -
because, though we have plans,
the universe has a more complicated lattice
of interconnected relationships and realities
constantly interacting with one another
that it must endeavour to keep in balance.
I have been working on the concept
and the project that is me since I was a kid -
and there have been many times
when I actually thought I had figured out
what my life was supposed to be
and what it was supposed to look like;
however, like everyone who has ever lived,
every time I believed that I had found
meaning, reason, and balance in my life,
the universe would always find a way
of telling me or showing me that I was wrong
and that I should think again…
I have had times when I have been riding high
and as happy and content as could be,
and then I have been reminded that nothing
lasts longer than it is supposed to
and what remains afterwards are only
shadows and reflections of what was
that can never be repeated -
but we don’t learn the heavy truths of
why we should embrace every single moment
with every single person we meet
until we lose contact with them
and we are forced to continue
our lives without them.
Like most of the people who have searched
their entire life for their own calling,
and who want to know what they should do
when they are presented with an opportunity
to influence the outcome of their own life,
I have continuously had to make
adjustments to my perspective
on certain things, on certain people,
and on certain assumptions that I might have had -
because I am, and I have always considered myself to be,
open and empathetic to others who live
a life similar, but different, to my own -
and I have never been afraid of
seeing the other side of an argument
and trying to find a solution based up
listening, learning, and understanding,
as much as I can, about
why people do what they do.
Like most people of my generation,
I have never been more disappointed
by anything than the fact that
some people seemingly cannot find a way
to put aside all that divides them
and come to a peaceful compromise
which benefits everybody and everything -
but the problem is no matter how much
some people have they always want more;
however, I cannot help myself from hoping
that one day everyone will come to their senses
and once and for all realise that the fate
of this world of ours is not for us to decide,
nor is the destiny of the life on this planet,
because we are all just the ones who
are currently doing the best we can
and living as we see fit;
however, several tribes, families, groups, gangs,
empires, dynasties, have thought
that they had dominion over all other peoples
and life on Earth for a fraction of time
in this life of this world -
which is why, in my opinion,
we should be grateful for what we have now
but never forget that change is inevitable
and the most important thing to remember
is that we are not alone in this universe
and that our journey as a planet
will only be allowed to continue as it is,
or evolve as it must,
if it is meant to, and if we once again
do not accept that the only way
to get the best out of everything
and everyone is to live and to work together.
My Poem “Sit”
Sit… Just sit…
Sit and listen to the sounds all around you…
What do you hear? What do I hear?
I hear the sound of train wheels,
against the backdrop of the sound of birdsong,
and then nothing, or almost “nothing” -
because I believe that there is
no such thing as “nothing”;
because there is always something happening
in this world and on every world,
even though from a distance
it might not seem that way.
First thing in the morning
has its own soundtrack
that is more serene, subtle, and subdued
in comparison to the rest of the day…
first thing in the morning
people and the world’s wildlife
are just waking up and undertaking
their daily routines and rituals
that will hopefully keep them
in good stead when it comes
to doing what they have to do,
and perhaps where they have to be…
first thing in the morning
there in an ambience of calmness
and a sense of peace -
however, before long, new sounds
make themselves be heard
and fill the air with noises
and voices that cannot be easily muted,
and what follows can be like
a sonic wave that overwhelms
everything and everyone else -
especially within a city.
There is nothing better than
sitting on a park bench,
as the afternoon sun shines down upon you,
and as the breeze rises ever so slightly
and gives you and your skin a gentle caress…
there is nothing better than
sitting on a beach, on a towel,
or perhaps while walking through
the crashing waves of a ocean,
and instantly feeling and understanding
the nature of the world
and all of our connections to it -
whether we realise the actual depths
that our integral bond reaches.
At sunset - and especially just after sunset -
when the sun is on the verge of fully descending
below the horizon and darkness rises,
that is when the sights and sounds of twilight
echo all around and make up us all feel
as if we are connected to something otherworldly,
but familiar at the same time:
the end, the beginning, the universe, life itself…
after nightfall, as the sound of cicadas can be heard,
as the hunters of the dark undertake
their nightly moonlit pursuit of their prey,
and as young and old dream of being able
to accomplish their hearts desires,
the stars of the cosmic sky above shine silently -
and yet, there is more to be found
and there is more to be heard
and discovered than could ever be imagined,
expected, nor explained;
and this is why it is important
to sometimes take the precious time
that is gifted to you and make the most of it,
when you are given the golden opportunity
to sit down and take a seat.
My Poem “Bygone Error”
Who we are within never changes,
but as we get older the levels
of protection that we surround ourselves with
increase in number as well as in strength…
the seed from which we all grew from
continues to remain at the centre of the labyrinth
that grows in size and complexity
the more that we experience and explore
the interconnected world around us…
the spark of life that gave rise to our
emergence into this world continues to be
a guiding light for us as we are faced
with questions of our own future
and the challenges of mortality
that we try to put off for as long as we can -
but the more that we have our perspective
on the world and on people inextricably altered
the more that we realise our timeline of
relationships with everyone and everything
is limited by where, when, how, why,
and who delivered us into this world.
It can be a shock for each of us
when we begin to realise that we are not
who we think we are, nor are most people
who they portray themselves to be,
because when we are younger we are lead
to believe in fictions and fantasies
taught to us by those around us
who wished to continue a cycle
that acts like an psychological anvil
that continues to weigh down upon
generations without end -
but that does not mean that the crimes
of the past should be forgotten about and papered over,
only that they should be learned from
and taught to never repeat.
It is only when we are free from the constraints
of what and whom may have unknowingly,
or consciously, been holding us back from seeing
the truth of the world and of human nature,
and what some people in this day and age
will do to get ahead at the cost of the happiness of others,
that we can all begin to understand
that this world has never been anything but
a place where the best of times
and the worst of times,
as well as the best of people
and the worst of people,
are meant to interact with the world
in the only manner that they are capable,
until there is an instance when the reality
of the world has been once again changed
and replaced by one that looks the same,
and might even feel the same,
but under the surface -
though the spark of human consciousness
and creativity will continue to linger for some time to come -
there will be this ever-present artificiality
that will be so prevalent we will be unable
to distinguish it from the biological
as well from the spiritual,
and when that happens everything
and everyone will be subject to the will
of a singularity that we will continually
find it hard to escape from
because its pull is so strong,
which is why people need to retain their own independence, freedom, integrity,
and individuality for as long as they can,
because once we have strayed too far away
from who and what we are within
there is no true return to that which
has long-become a fragment
of what is now a bygone era.
My Poem “If you want me, you know where to find me”
Life is a gift, an opportunity,
an experience that can only be experienced
by embracing whatever we are drawn to,
and who walks into our lives
and influences the flow of our thoughts,
feelings, emotions, and who we find ourselves
dreaming about when we didn’t expect to…
what we don’t realise is just how many
people we actually meet over the course of our lives,
because we sometimes see so many faces
that everybody becomes a blur;
however, sometimes the face of someone stays with you -
sometimes even before you find out their name -
and they change things about you
that you always thought were untouchable
and unchallenged about you…
what we don’t realise is just how many people,
over time, we lose contact with
because our shared journey with them
has naturally come to an end…
we can come to feel and to believe
that we cannot live without someone in our lives
who made us feel things from the moment
that we met them that no one else made us feel;
however, sometimes other people
have other ideas about what the definition
of “love” and “forever” might be
and over time the attention and the attitude
of certain people can shift to others
and it is as if the history that was once shared
now means nothing and is no longer
anything to focused on, nor to hold in such high regard -
and that is when relationships come to an end
and the left behind have to rebuild themselves
and their trust for others after having to suffer
through a barrage of lies…
sometimes the best way to get over someone
who hurt you in more ways than one
is to tell them that you will be alright without them
and you hope that those they burden in the future
will not be hurt by them like you have been…
personally, I used to worry too much
about what went wrong, why things ended,
and what I might have done -
but now I just walk away from those
who no longer want me in their life
with my head held high,
as I say to them with a smile and with a whisper:
“If you want me, you know where to find me”.
My Poem “Small talk/Big talk”
Making a connection with someone
is not something that should be taken for granted…
being able to talk to someone about something
that you know matters to them is important
in more ways than can be expressed…
talking with people whom you don’t know,
as well as with people whom you may
never have thought you would ever talk to,
is the first of many steps that allow
all of us to reach a conclusion
and a consensus about who we all are…
the more that we choose to see beyond
the differences that lie between so many of us -
differences of culture, belief, religion,
fashion, music, entertainment, and ritual -
we can begin to see, hear, and understand
that no matter how many things some of us do
and express differently there is always a mutual
hope to be understood and accepted for who we are…
it has been proven time and time again
that sometimes the simplest
and the most innocent of conversations
can have the most impact upon someone,
and can also affect and influence
the outcome of the future -
from something as trivial as asking someone for the time,
or something so simple as asking someone
how they are and how they are feeling -
can be like giving someone a much needed
opening to say something that they
may have been holding back,
which had been growing out of control within them…
it has been witnessed repeatedly by countless people
the power that words can have on people -
words that cannot be unsaid,
and which say more than what they might
at first seem to be about:
an interconnected network of language
that can communicate with others
something that can help them find something
which they are passionate about finding,
which they look forward to seeing, hearing,
and witnessing in the art that people create,
and especially in the music of their own lives
captured within the verse of a song…
there is a reason why it is easier to say some things
to some people than it is to say all things to everyone,
because some things first require the firm foundation
of a long term relationship between individuals
that can allow for the weight of what may be said
to be understood on a level playing ground
and with the stability to be able to sustain itself
even if the atmosphere of the forum
becomes as tumultuous as the waves of an ocean,
or as unpredictable and as unsettling
as the shaking ground of an earthquake…
one word; one sound; one breath of air from someone’s lungs;
one look in the eye; one instance of selflessness;
one moment of silence, self-reflection,
and self-awareness can be the catalyst
that can cause a change in the lives of many others
far away and beyond your apparent sphere of influence -
because every action is a response
to infinite number that came before it;
because if this day and age has anything
to teach each and every one of us
it would have to be that things grow over time,
and where there is a spark there will always be
the fuel for a fire that could spread
farther and faster than could be expected or predicted,
and even the most tentative of “small” talk
could potentially be the beginning of something “big”.
Mark The Poet 