A long time ago,
I put a padlock with our names on it
onto a bridge next to countless others,
and after I attached our lock -
the lock that, to me, at the time,
signified our unending love for one another -
I threw the key to our lock
into the water of the river below;
and I never foresaw that I would
ever regret doing what I did -
however, now, I have to say, I do,
because what we once had is no more,
and whenever I think of that lock
it makes me feel sad,
because our love, as it turns out,
was a lie from beginning to end -
because we were once lovers,
but now we are not even friends.
I wish I could find that lock -
the one that I put on that bridge
all those years ago -
and break it, just as my heart was broken,
because it now symbolises
how foolish I was to have allowed
myself to fall for you
and to believe your lies...
I wish I still remembered what
the key to that lock looked like -
because, maybe if I did, I would
choose to dive to the bottom
of that river and retrieve it
so that I could use it
to unlock that which now feels meaningless;
however, there are most likely
many other keys to be found
in the water underneath the bridge -
so my chances of finding the right key
for the right lock are slim, at best,
but I think it would be worth a shot.
Maybe I should just try
and forget about what once was - us -
and that which once meant so much;
but the truth is that moving on
is harder than it sounds,
especially when you still have
a head full of memories
and shared experiences,
and somewhere in the world
there still remains things
that were placed somewhere in particular
with the intention that they stay
where they are forever,
even though you wish you could
remove them and throw them away -
things like carved initials in an oak tree,
graffiti on a wall,
dedications within books,
or names written upon a lock
that will continue to be
a source of pain whenever
you think of them, or see them,
because they make you remember
what you once had with someone
and that one day when
all that used to mean everything
suddenly came to a stop
and then became lost.
lost
My Poem “Lost Trust”
I have always believed
that trust was one of the most
important things in life
that can be given
and one of the most
painful things that can be lost;
however, the problem with trust
is that people are not always trustworthy -
people lie, but they always have
a reason and a motive
for why they do what they do,
and for why they say what they say.
I have been told that I am näive
when it comes to making a decision
when it comes to helping others
as well as too quick to
open my heart too easily
for others to take advantage of -
and though it pains me to admit it,
I am, and I have always been,
someone who has worn my heart on my sleeve,
and I have always given more
than I have received:
and I have been told that
that is the sign of a good person.
I am not sure if I am a "good person" -
but what I do know is that there are
people in this world who use others,
who cheat on others,
who have no respect for others,
and when it comes to making a choice
between what they want
and what others want
some people will always choose
to be selfish every time.
The number of people
whom I have trusted over my life
began small when I was younger,
and then, of course, began to grow bigger over time;
however, now I could probably count
on one hand the people
who I truly trust and why.
Love is not the allie of mine
that I used to think it was;
people have seldom been truthful with me;
my love is something I have
been too readily to offer another -
but I am here to say
that is about to change.
I have been hurt one too many times;
I have had my opinion of people
repeatedly overturned more
times than I can count;
I have done things for others
in the past the instant that they asked -
but now I am not so sure
if my ability to trust people
like I used to will ever return,
because I am recovering
from all the years and all the scars
of being psychologically,
as well as emotionally, burned.
All my muses have left me...
all who once aided my creativity
and made me believe that they loved me
have found someone else to leach from...
all I have left is what
and who truly matter to me -
those who can rest assured
that I will be there for them,
just as they have always been there for me,
because our pull to one another
is the strongest force of the universe.
All I know for sure is that
what has been lost will never return -
but one day, perhaps,
I will discover that I have
more faith to offer
and that not all my trust
has been lost.
The Pathfinder: No One Is Ever Alone
My Poem “Shadow of Death”
All my footprints have gone... all my fingerprints have disappeared... all my impressions have been undone... all my loves have been lost - it is as if what happened never happened and now I am the only one who remembers or cares that I once used to be with someone, sometime, somewhere. I never used to believe in true endings until this year, and now it feel as if life is not done teaching me the lesson that I, nor anybody, has true control over what happens... I never believed that hope would abandon me - but something is telling me and showing me that the days of knowing what to do and when are out of my hands and from now on I am going to have to do more to keep the once perpetual light of optimism within me lit, because even the most intense and raging fire can be doused and can even go out for good. All my life, I took more for granted than I realised - and it is only now, that I am bereft of what and who I used to rely on, that I understand where I have been going wrong, where and when I should have done more, and made the most of moments that I thought would last for ever, but were always only temporary... all my life, I have been blessed and I have been surrounded by more that I could have ever wished or asked for; and now that things, and people, have left me I find myself wondering if, when, and how my life could make sense ever again - because I have been changed forever in ways that not even I could describe or capture in poetry. The future, to me, is now one day at a time... the past, to me, is now like somewhere I once knew that I wont see or repeat again until I reach my own version of the end... the present is dark, and even the lights I see, to me, have lost their once vibrant shine... reality, for me, has been fractured too badly for anything or anyone to be able to mend - because I will always be haunted and living under the shadow of death.
A Poem A Day #567: Lost and Found
My Poem “Lost and Found”
It’s been a long time since I wrote like this… It’s been a long time since I felt like this… It’s been a long time since I felt as if I were adrift… It’s been a long time since I made a wish… It’s been a long time since I felt as if I had nothing else to anchor me except for my family and my poetry… It’s been a long time since I looked in the mirror and I did not recognize who was looking back at me... It’s been a long time since I saw some of the muses who over the last ten years have knowingly, or unknowingly, inspired me... It’s been a long time since I experienced a true new beginning - but now that I have been left by those who I once thought I knew and who I thought knew me, I believe that I am having to walk while fully awake – where before, perhaps, I had only been sleep-walking... It’s been a long time, but I think I know who I am now… It’s been a long time, but I think I get the message clear and loud… It’s been a long time, but I think I have been touched by a light like the sunlight that eventually breaks through even the darkest of clouds… It’s been a long time, but I think I have arrived somewhere where I have acquired what I have been looking for – somewhere I can only acquaint to being some kind of poetic Lost and Found.
A Poem A Day #315: Turned Around
My Poem “Gone”
No matter how much you try to hold on to something sometimes you lose things, sometimes you lose people, sometimes you lose time; however, one day you unearth a piece of your past and you look at it for the first time in years, and, to your amazement, it does not not mean to you what it once meant - where before you would have done anything to not be parted from a particular thing, now, all the feelings that you once felt for something, you discover, seem to have evaporated, seem to have become lost, seem to have left without you knowing - and though, before, you might have told yourself that you could never live without that particular thing in your life, you come to find that time appears to have helped you more than you realize to get passed what might have been holding you back, because now you find it easy to walk away from what was never meant to be, because what once was is now gone.
My Poem “The Misunderstood”
Everybody always looks to their peers
for a familiar face to trust…
everybody always looks to
who they seek out on a regular basis
for guidance about what to think,
what to believe, what to do,
and what is the truth…
everybody always looks to the images
that they see being presented
in newspapers, in magazines,
on television, in movies,
and on the screens that they use to
access the infinite streams of the internet –
and everybody sees some things
and everyone sees some people
slightly differently depending upon
their own personal opinions, attitudes,
experiences, and past relationships.
I believe that some things are not open
to interpretation, for example:
we are all human beings,
we all live on the same planet,
we all breathe the same air,
we all have the same colour blood
coursing through our veins –
and though we are not all the same
physically, psychologically,
or emotionally, we are all people,
we all need the same vital things
to survive, to grow, and to thrive,
and the fact is that some people
in this world have had it worse than
other people could ever truly imagine.
I think everybody needs to focus
more on what we all have in common
rather than on what divides us
and we all need to treat one another
with all the respect that we are due
through acts of selflessness,
mentoring, sharing, and coming to
an understanding that hopes to help
heal the scars of the past
so that everybody can one day
be defended and represented
by those who chose to rise above
the use of violence to settle their
problems and instead decided
to reach out and find a dialogue
of words and actions that they
hoped over time would help
to right some of the many wrongs
that have been wrought upon
the innocent, the forgotten,
the lost, and the misunderstood.
My Poem “The Angels of Sacrifice”
Remember the many…
Remember the brave…
Remember the lost…
Remember the scared…
Remember the tears…
Remember the cost…
Remember the courage…
Remember the men,
Remember the women,
and Remember the children
who still wear the scars of war,
the scars of chaos, the scars of confusion,
the scars of survival on the outside
and as well as those invisible scars
that they sometimes dwell
upon silently on the inside.
Always Remember why the world is
the way that it is,
and because of whom…
Remember, embrace,
and never forget the stories
of those who suffered through so much
in hope of helping to build
a brighter future for the next generation…
Remember, respect, remind,
and renew every day the gift of freedom
by never taking life for granted,
and by never forgetting all the heroes
who have sacrificed their lives
during times of war and utter darkness
and despair who soldiered on
no matter what for all the people
of every country of this fragile world.
Today, and every day,
if you are lucky enough to be able to do so,
take a moment to close your eyes,
to think, to Remember, and to appreciate
the angels in all their forms
who have walked this Earth –
whom you may have met –
who made a difference to the lives
of everybody simply by going to
where they were needed and by helping
those in the most urgent of need.
I will Remember, I will Never Forget –
and I hope that the memory
of the lost and the fallen
will always live on
in the consciousness of everybody.
Lest we forget.
Mark The Poet 