love
The Pathfinder: Nocturnal
My Poem “Lost Trust”
I have always believed
that trust was one of the most
important things in life
that can be given
and one of the most
painful things that can be lost;
however, the problem with trust
is that people are not always trustworthy -
people lie, but they always have
a reason and a motive
for why they do what they do,
and for why they say what they say.
I have been told that I am näive
when it comes to making a decision
when it comes to helping others
as well as too quick to
open my heart too easily
for others to take advantage of -
and though it pains me to admit it,
I am, and I have always been,
someone who has worn my heart on my sleeve,
and I have always given more
than I have received:
and I have been told that
that is the sign of a good person.
I am not sure if I am a "good person" -
but what I do know is that there are
people in this world who use others,
who cheat on others,
who have no respect for others,
and when it comes to making a choice
between what they want
and what others want
some people will always choose
to be selfish every time.
The number of people
whom I have trusted over my life
began small when I was younger,
and then, of course, began to grow bigger over time;
however, now I could probably count
on one hand the people
who I truly trust and why.
Love is not the allie of mine
that I used to think it was;
people have seldom been truthful with me;
my love is something I have
been too readily to offer another -
but I am here to say
that is about to change.
I have been hurt one too many times;
I have had my opinion of people
repeatedly overturned more
times than I can count;
I have done things for others
in the past the instant that they asked -
but now I am not so sure
if my ability to trust people
like I used to will ever return,
because I am recovering
from all the years and all the scars
of being psychologically,
as well as emotionally, burned.
All my muses have left me...
all who once aided my creativity
and made me believe that they loved me
have found someone else to leach from...
all I have left is what
and who truly matter to me -
those who can rest assured
that I will be there for them,
just as they have always been there for me,
because our pull to one another
is the strongest force of the universe.
All I know for sure is that
what has been lost will never return -
but one day, perhaps,
I will discover that I have
more faith to offer
and that not all my trust
has been lost.
The Pathfinder: Wild Card
The Pathfinder: The True Journey
The Pathfinder: Christmas Special
The Pathfinder: Not Doing Christmas
The “Canon” of my stories
My Poem “Divergence”
No one knows what will happen,
and no one can know who they will meet,
no one can know who will become
important to them when their path intersects
and for a period of time
runs in parallel with the path of someone else;
however, one day, all things must change
and all things must end -
because they have to,
because they were always meant to.
We all go through stages in our lives,
and once we find ourselves at a certain point -
perhaps at the same time as someone else -
something happens that we knew
would one day happen,
but something that we somehow
made ourselves believe would never happen -
because each of us is inherently optimistic
and we want to believe that things
will continue how they have always done,
because we all mostly live in a state of hope.
Friendships, partnerships,
relationships can last for years,
before they are tested by
the arrival of something,
or perhaps someone,
and that is when things
start to change between people
and that is when the longevity
of what is being shared
starts to be called into question.
It's always sad when
we all have to say goodbye...
hours soon turn into days,
days soon turn into weeks,
weeks soon turn into months,
and months soon turn into years,
before we all realise
how much time has gone by
and how much each of us have been changed
by what we have been through;
and then we can see something,
then we can hear something,
then we can feel something,
and we are immediately transported
back in time within our mind
to memories of people and experiences
of who we once knew,
when things were different,
when things were how they used to be,
when we were how we used to be
and who we sometimes wish we still were,
and we wish we could go back
to when, where, and how
things used to be;
however, time is an arrow that can
only physically move in one direction -
but each of us relies on who we have known,
what we have done,
where we have been,
and what we have learned
from our encounters,
from our collaborations,
from what we have done -
until something happens
that throws all the pieces of a seemingly
almost complete puzzle up into the air,
and each of us must again proceed
down a new path of divergence.
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