I still can’t believe that you have left us…
I still can’t believe that you are not still with us,
because I feel you with me every day -
no matter where I am, and no matter what I am doing,
it always feels like you are standing right beside me,
it always feels like you are checking up on me
and every member of your family to see if we are alright,
it always feels like you are now an angel on our shoulder,
a messenger within our dreams,
and always reminding us that we are not alone.

Losing you was like a nightmare made real…
losing you will always be a scar upon my heart,
a shard within my mind, a fragment of chaos -
like that of the debris and the aftermath of an explosion -
that will always illicit pain within me,
and which I will carry with me every day.

You and I always shared a strong bond
and a connection that connected us
beyond anything that could ever be expressed…
you were, and you will always be,
my inspiration, my hero,
the source of my everlasting strength,
and the example I have always wanted
to embody and to emulate…
no one could ever be as loving as you,
as caring as you, as wise as you, as strong as you,
nor as willing to do what you were always ready to do
at a moment's notice for the people in your life
who meant the world to you
and who loved you unconditionally in return.

I have had to change so much since 
you passed on to the world to come -
which I believe runs in parallel to this one
and has many states of being -
and I have had to step up
and do what you used to do,
what you tried to prepare me for;
however, nothing and no one can ever know
what it takes to have to take on the responsibilities
of someone else until they have to follow in their footsteps…
every day, you continue to give me
so much of what I didn’t know I needed
exactly when you know that I need it -
as you always have, and as you always will -
and I will bask in your love, your presence,
and in your extraordinary light every moment
until the day that you and I are once again reunited
and we get to talk to each other
like we always used to…
you and I were, and still are,
so much more than what we appear to be -
because there will always be something about us
that is unique and unlike anything or anyone else,
because we are, and we will always be, special
and more than just father and son.